Time Alone

    I keep hearing so-called experts on TV, telling us about how kids must go to school so that they get properly socialized. By that they mean socially indoctrinated, because socializing can occur in any size group, any age, anywhere. But nagging at the back of my head is the voice that says, yeah, but kids also need plenty of time alone. Or at least they need time to do their own things, think their own thoughts, without a crowd of other kids all around them. 

    We get so little "time alone" these days. What with television and all its gradations, on almost all the time, computers and the smorgasbord of entertainment, learning and social platforms that they dish out 24 hours a day. And then we have music blaring from a variety of sources anywhere and everywhere. Where is all this alone time? Yes, these are all different social activities from those encountered in school, but they are still social by nature. 

   I recall the time I used to spend with my horses when I was younger. I was often in the barn alone, grooming them, feeding them, cleaning their feet, cleaning their tack, cleaning out their stalls. I had so many things to do and I almost always was doing them alone. Yes, my horses were there, but no, neither one was a "talking horse." I admit that they were wonderful companions, but not the chatty type. And I loved to go off on long rides alone in the countryside where we lived. Of course I couldn't do that all the time. Hunting season was frightening and the sight of hunters tromping the fields with their guns terrified me. I learned early in life that some of those hunters keep a flask of spirits with them that could easily cause them to react to almost any motion along the edges of the fields and roads in our rural community. I knew that I could end up shot, mistaken for a deer, if I wasn't really careful. Same for my horse. And winters were too dangerous because it was way too easy for a horse to slip on the ice and get a broken leg. But whenever I could, I was out on my horse, buying myself some alone time. 

    I found skiing similar. I could be social in the base lodge or the food service areas, or even on the lift going up to the top. But once I had arrived at the top I was alone and I could commune with the earth under my skis, the sky, the trees, and all the forces of nature and physics at work as I wound my way down the mountain. 

    The only other way I ever experienced time alone was if I could hide myself in my closet with a flashlight and a good book to read. That didn't happen often but I have fond memories of those special times. I also learned to stay up late at night to work on homework for school, so that I could have space to myself and peaceful quiet. As the oldest of eight siblings, time alone was indeed precious. And time at school was not much different than time at home, with too many people, too much going on. At school, time was always being interrupted by bells, alarms, PA announcements, and often just noisy, even rowdy, students.

    One of my favorite artists is the architect Frank Gehry, whose architectural work is shown in the photos above, who also found solace and creativity in time spent alone. His architecture is different, often a radical departure from the mundane. How did he come up with his design ideas? By spending time alone, by allowing his mind to wander into all kinds of different corners, by staying open to all possibilities, sometimes by just sitting at a table crumpling paper. Here are a few of my favorite Frank Gehry quotes:

"When I was a kid, my father really didn’t have much hope for me. He thought I was a dreamer; he didn’t think I would amount to anything. My mother also."

"For me, every day is a new thing. I approach each new project with a new insecurity, almost like the first project I ever did. And I get the sweats. I go in and start working, I’m not sure where I’m going. If I knew where I was going I wouldn’t do it."

"You have to make your way forward, into the unknown."

"Your best work is your expression of yourself. Now, you may not be the greatest at it, but when you do it, you're the only expert."

Frank Gehry was born in 1929, is now 91 years old and still designing architecture. Not bad for a boy whose father and mother thought he wouldn't amount to much. The images for this post show some of his many designs. Look up more about Frank Gehry and learn how alone time can be very important creative time.

Norma Curry